Standing on the Promises

Today is Monday. I woke up at 10 AM. I used the alarm clock.

One of the things I don't like about my medication is that it causes insomnia, and I didn't sleep well last night, but I have to work today.

I have eaten two BBQ pulled pork sandwiches for breakfast, and I still have enough left for two more at lunch time. That makes my day time easier, because I don't have to wait in line for dinner.

I have to have $337 by the 8th to pay my next three bills due on that day. Right now, I have $341 in my E-trade account. I need to also have $490 for my car rental up until today and I don't have it. Any of it. But, I have $177 coming tomorrow on my check. So I sold $160 worth of stocks, and I'll use that and my check to pay my bills on that day. Everything I make today will go back into E-trade for my car rental and other upcoming bills.

I'm going to focus on Spark all day again.

It is the highest paying of all the delivery apps. The catch is, I won't get that money until next Tuesday, so I will have to sell another $72 worth of stocks tomorrow to pay the next bill that is due on the 9th, so I will also have to work some of the daily pay apps to ensure I have money coming in to cover the other bills due before the 14th - including my car rental.

I can't believe I am praying my transmission doesn't come in today...because I don't have the money to cover the rental and gas to work with.

All I can do is keep working as hard as I can and hope and pray for the best.

I called the Apartment manager and made sure she got my money order. She did and was very happy for me that I was able to pay on time. I gave all the credit to Jesus.

I have learned something about forgiveness through all of this. We are called to forgive others. That doesn't mean that it doesn't still hurt or that we still don't need to heal. Asking someone to forgive and forget is like asking a man who has been stabbed in the foot to forget he has been stabbed, when he is reminded every step he tries to take because of the pain. He can forgive the stabber, but it doesn't mean he will give the stabber an opportunity to stab again until he is healed completely.

And, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Lord, Thank You for sustaining me on a day to day basis and the food that You have provided for me.

I pray that You provide me with the means to pay all my bills by the day that they are due. Whatever it takes. I thank You that all of my bills are covered for right now, today.

I pray that You open doors, again, so that I may do so when the time comes. Whatever it takes.

Help me, Lord, to forgive and to heal from the brokenness I am enduring, in all the ways that are necessary.

Be with my children and my lists.

Lead me, guide me, show me the way, and provide me the opportunity to serve you right where I am, doing what I do and being who You have made me to be.

I am standing on Your promises.

In Jesus's Holy Name, I pray, Amen!

Psalms Chapter 37

23 The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.

24 Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the LORD upholdeth him with his hand.