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Hello, I'm Shonda Ponder. I am a self-employed courier and taxi driver. 

I am a Christian and a Conservative American and native Texan.

My priority is Jesus. My goals are to win souls, to live abundantly and to pay my bills on time, in that order.

I look forward to communicating with you all!

Depressed

Good Friday Night, World!

Today I felt really "blah". Just not energized at all. Didn't really have the ambition to "go" and "do" and "be". Maybe it is due to Lupus...

It's as if, over time, little by little, more and more of me is "drained."

I just want to feel "normal" again...and then I remind myself that having lupus means that I will never be "normal" again.

That is depressing.

Then, I remind myself that there is treatment, and that - from what I have researched - lupus effects come in waves. There are good days and there are bad days and with the right treatment, this will go on for years. I can be normal on occasion. Maybe if I can get the right medication for me, I can be normal a lot.

But, right now, I am getting impatient waiting for the doctor. And, I still haven't received my insurance paperwork. Both of which was said could take a couple of weeks.

So, I am somewhat depressed.

Struggling to be patient and to keep going without "laying down" and doing nothing.

I made $60 today. It wasn't enough. But, it was something.

Tomorrow is the Sabbath. I'll spend time with my family and rest.

Have a blessed night.

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