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Hello, I'm Shonda Ponder. I am a self-employed courier and taxi driver. 

I am a Christian and a Conservative American and native Texan.

My priority is Jesus. My goals are to win souls, to live abundantly and to pay my bills on time, in that order.

I look forward to communicating with you all!

Battle Belongs

On January 8, Sunday, I woke up at 11 AM, by alarm clock.


Inside, I was panicking. My phone bill and credit card bill was scheduled to be auto-drafted out of my account, and I still needed to make $200 to pay my rent.


I was about to give up.


I knew that if I had to move, I had no help moving. I had no money for storage. I would lose everything I owned as well as my credit.


I had a dream the night before that told me that I was about to be unburdened by all that was holding me down and causing me stress. God didn't tell me how, and if it was by losing all of it, then it was just so hard to let go.


But, I knew, also, in my heart of hearts that if I did let go of it all, and if I did lose it all, it was not the end of the world, and that it would free me from the responsibility of keeping it all.


I was planning on tucking it all away in November or December, but maybe God didn't want me to do that.


I also knew that I would do my best to save what I could. My clothes, a few of my kitchen appliances and dishes, my tax records and papers in my file cabinet. I would have liked to also save my bed, as it was a gift to me, and I would probably need it in the future, and my computers. But, I knew that some of even all that was not going be able to be saved.


I didn't have $1500 plus what it was going to take to move it into storage, and I had no one to help me move it otherwise. And, I was so tired of begging for help online.


It was like pulling teeth, and it was stressful.


I didn't like stress. Stress affected my body physically. My body was very sensitive to it. So I was going to do whatever I had to to get rid of it as quickly as possible.


I felt God speaking to me. It was about surrender. Surrender did not mean just giving yourself over to the idea of serving the Lord. Rather, it meant to let go of everything and to let God. It meant to give up everything you were holding on to and let God give you what He wants you to have. It meant letting the domino's fall where they will, so that you can start from scratch and build a different tower.


It also meant that you don't live by the world's standard. This world is not your home.


And, God wants you to bear fruit. The seeds will come from that. Some fruits are seedless, yet tasty and nourishing. Jeremiah was known as the weeping prophet for a reason. Even in all his truth and preaching, no one ever listened to him, yet his words bore fruit. You are to be what God made you to be. Your light will shine through who you are. If you are connected to God, and are living according to the spirit of God, then your life will bear fruit. It will be automatic. It's not something you have to work for or toward. It's something you are.


I may never lead someone to Salvation who is going to go and start a megachurch and save thousands more. This journey cannot be about my ego or my ambition. I know that who I am has been influential and leading others to the understanding of what having a relationship with Jesus is really about, and that church is not a building, and God's grace is sufficient for that. I am doing exactly what I'm supposed to do.


God was telling me that I am enough, no matter what I have or don't have, or what I have or have not accomplished, or how comfortable, uncomfortable, insecure, or secure my life has become. It is time for me to let Him take the wheel. He's the one who is in control. He is the one who gives me what I need to fulfill His purpose. At the end of the day I had over $300 coming to me on Tuesday. I still need $180 more. I just didn't see how I was going to be able to pull it off.


All I could do is pray.


God, You have moved mountains for me before in miraculous ways. I know you can do it again. I don't know what this is supposed to teach me, but I am fearful, and I know that my fear is unfounded, because no matter what, You have my back. Lord, I'm asking You to make a way to allow me to make the plans I was originally going to make, in the time I had planned to do it in. I am not ready for such a change right now. Please, come through with a way for me to pay my rent and phone bill before I get evicted. Thank You. In Jesus's Name, Amen.






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